At this page you will find messages and comments of readers of the  ‘What makes a good relationship’-   ebook The texts are published as recieved, and represent the view of the man or woman who wrote it.


(thoughts after reading ‘What makes a good relationship’)

This week I read the ‘What makes a good relationship’ ebook by  Ad A.M.Westen . A easy to read book, filled with a lot of insights. It is true, one side of our personality, is completely guided and trained to come up with the most attainable results. Indeed the other side of our personality, the social and communication part,  is really supposed to develop according to the principles of ‘falling down and getting up again’. I Agree that is the impetus for a great many of our life-problems connected with communication: family-problems, problems with your neighbors and of course relationship. The author shows in his book practical insights in how to recognize what is really going on in a relationship and gives the writer the frameworks to start to develop the solutions  to a better communication and so a better relationship. ‘What makes a good relationship’ is complete and sometimes confrontating. For me the greatest discovery was to realize that a relationship really needs a structured maintenance. The comparison with the maintenance of a car opens your eyes and is striking. Especial the schedules for having the maintenance and the very practical information about the topics which need to pass the communication-sessions. I  never read a book which gives such clear and manageable rules for a  better communication in a relationship. To make agreements about the way of communicating was not new for me, but the way the agreement is divided in specific parts is amazing. The most important part of  communication is not talking, but listening is such a topic. I can advise to read this ebook to everyone who wants to get insight in how a relationship works. It gives you many fresh and practical solutions to get your partner relationship on the road again, but also the insights to handle any communication, so a relationship. Highly recommended!

John F.


( a message of a happy reader )

‘What makes a good relationship’  was for me the most complete practical book about relationships and how to get and to maintain a good relationship.

The content of this ebook gives you what it promises to give. Insight in the mindset and the process of a relationship, training in practicing, large and small maintenance and starting a new life. I think starting a new life means choosing for your own responsibility. And that is also a clear tendency in ‘What makes a good relationship’ Everybody should take  responsibility for his life, so also for his or her relationships. You, the reader, is the only one who is able to change your part of the relationship. The experience of  30 years relationship therapy of the author and for all the real life stories, confirm that what I already knew. The book  gives the practical tools to tackle upcoming problems and hesitation. More important: it can help you out of the role of the victim and give you the power to keep your life in your own hands. The book helps to make clear and  to solve what the partners do not like about their current situation.  And to make  the right decisions. The books makes clear that staying together  is not always the best decision, although a lot of people think that this is the only option. ‘You have the right to be happy’ the slogan of the author, gets a broader meaning after reading this book.  I agree with what the writer says: even if you do not have a relationship at all, this knowledge is a absolute must. Because I also think it is a basic knowledge to get a happier life. And till now know no school which does teach you how to get a happy life with or in a relationship.

A happy reader

Changing my life

What a confrontation to read the ebook of Ad A.M.Westen ‘What makes a good relationship’ . With the experiences of several good and more not good relationships, I wondered if there could be someone who could give me the information how to get and for all keep a good relationship.  I did read a lot of books about this topic, even about the assumption that men come from mars and women come from venus. In practice it could be opposite, I think. Most books are very philosophically, this ebook, ‘What makes a good relationship’ is very practically.  It gives you real insight in and solutions for tense or upcoming tense in your partner-relationship.   I think, Ad A.M.Westen is a master in coming to the essence of a relationship and still better, to the essence of tense and problems  in relationships. The confrontation for me is, he tells me in his book where and why I took the perhaps wrong decisions in the path of my relationships. Also the fact that there is no guilt-question in an ending relationship or a relationship with upcoming tense. It is all a question of learning, of being a student in the life-university.  And it is our responsibility  to learn and practice what we learned in the next tense-situation we meet.  In this way ‘What makes a good relationship’  is not only a great school for a partner-relationship but for every relationship at all.   Compare a relationship with a car in the part of maintenance shocked me. Not that it is not  allowed to compare a car with feelings, the most important part of a relationship, but because the comparison is so true, so  to the point that you ask yourself why I did not discover this truth myself.  But I think, that’s why sometimes we need a therapist. To show us the hidden truth, which we don’t recognize anymore in the stressful stream of life.  Thank you Ad A.M.Westen for writing ‘What makes a good relationship’. It sounds a little ‘soft’, but you changed my life !!



Back on trail

What about relationships?  Again a new book? Yes, and I am very happy with it. After a lot of rubbish, sorry for the word,  finally a real book, a real guide. A 156 pages ebook which gives you the instruments to realize what is going on in your relationship, AND the instrument to correct what has to be corrected .  Not like, feel what is going on, investigate where it went wrong, and do something with it. NO, this book, gives you real solutions. How to  get insight, how to correct, how to practice your relationship in future.  I never found such a straight way of advising before. No stories about the possible ways to do it, but  really how to organize, even the schedules and the topics which has to be discussed to get your relationship back on  trail again.  I have experience in relationships, and believe me, if someone would read this book, and welcome the teachings in it, before any relationship  at all, it would prevent a lot of bad experience. Because now I understand that the relationship we get is a projection of our mind, of that what we learned of the experience of  our parents, of the people around us. Or , the better way, a projection  of what we really want and the result of all we learned  about how a relationship  really should be. This ebook is a bargain, no doubt. The website ‘’  is clear, straight and to the point. Like the ebook, also the website shows the way of practical thinking of the author Ad.A.M.Westen.

John  C.




Friends told me to visit the website about a new ebook  called ‘What makes a good relationship’.  They knew my struggling   with deciding to start a relationship.  Meeting nice candidates is no problem but to make the decision to go further makes me the everlasting single. Why? Because of fear: what will happen next, what can I expect, what do I have to show of myself. I read a lot of books about relationships, but no book could take my hesitation away. So again hesitation about the advice of my friends, but I did visit the website, downloaded and read the free book pages and soon after that ordered  the complete ebook. And I agree, what the website promises, the ebook gives, and even more. The way of thinking of the writer, Ad. A.M.Westen, and his possibility to tell his teachings in a simple, straight and especially practical way, is what I needed.  The real life stories made me recognize my own gaps in my ideas,  in my mindset about relationships.  Also  the insight  that a lot of people are struggling with hesitation and a leak of knowledge about relationships too, was a big help to me.  Realizing that the man I did not choose as partner,  possible struggles with the same ‘relation problems’ as I do was an eye opener.  I felt as I was not only helped by the teachings of Ad A. but also by the ‘advices’ of the people of the real life stories.  Now I know it all depends of what I want. Security in a relationship is the result of what I, myself,  invest in it. At least I have to take care for an open conversation and discussion in my part of the relationship.  Thank you ‘What makes a good relationship’ , thank you Ad A. for your straight and respectful and especially clear teachings!

Grateful Samantha

Leave a Reply