The way to a happy relationship


The way to a happy relationship

To be able to live in our society, we are expected to learn a great deal. From the age of four, we go to school, where the norms, values and demands of our culture are programmed into us. We learn the basic skills of reading, writing and arithmetic. We study for a profession, and do additional courses, we specialize. We do everything to be a successful economic personality. We let ourselves get dragged along in competitions for the best entrepreneur, the youngest millionaires and the best Idol. We are schooled to ‘score’. Everything is thought of, not a cloud in the sky.

I am a relational therapist. Most of the people who come to our center  for help have more or less made it, they have a good job, a steady income, a nice house, a reliable car and mostly one or more  children. In other words, they have made it.
Yet still…. It appears we have forgotten something in our race . One side of our personality, is completely guided and trained to come up with the most attainable results for society. The other side of our personality is supposed to develop with ‘falling down and getting up again’.
Of course you can be very happy in and with a job. But what about our private life, our relationships? How are we schooled or trained for that? I think, basically, not or barely. A very important part of schooling we missed. How to build, and how to maintain a relationship.

Our life is a chain of relationships. The relationships with our parents, with the neighbours, the teachers, the boss, the government, and probably the most important , is the relationship with your partner. A partner can be a friend, someone you can always rely on, but also someone  you can lose touch with.
Do most partners ever think about how much maintenance a relationship needs to remain up-to-date? We know this about our computer or our car, but about our relationship?
Or ‘Isn’t that automatic? Isn’t our love strong enough to be able to handle that?’

Well, not in most cases and sooner or later, hopefully not too late for you, you run into problems because of the lack of knowledge and skills for the maintenance of a relationship.
The statement, ‘Our love can handle this’ has mostly  more to do with hope than with knowledge and skills.  Of course you can go on with falling and getting up again.  But I think people have to take responsibility also for that part of life,  the most important part of life.
‘What makes a good relationship’ is the centre question.  Agree?  Reading this article means you are interested in a way to learn how to get insight and the maintenance of a relationship.
As a relational therapist I wish you will really find where you are searching for: happiness…


happy relationship



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